Why I'm Celebrating 65 (And Why You Should Celebrate Your Age Too)

As I turn 65, I'm reflecting on birthdays, purpose, and what the science says about embracing the age you've earned.

I turn 65 this week. Yay me!

I love birthdays! Especially my birthday! I’m all in for every candle. And I enthusiastically embrace celebrating another year of my wonderful, sometimes messy life.

This year my birthday falls on Father’s Day. I’ll be honest: I’m not thrilled about sharing my day. I didn’t mind sharing it with my mother-in-law, who happened to have my birthday. We were celebrating the same thing and each other. And I love that my birthday falls on the first day of summer—I’ve always thought that was a great day to be born. But a separate holiday celebration pulling focus? That’s a different story.

I remember my 10th birthday falling on Father’s Day. I didn’t want to share my birthday then. And I still don’t.

My dad and father-in-law are both gone now. And my husband’s only fathering responsibilities involve a cat who ignores him most of the time. So technically, I have the day to myself. And yet . . .

If you have a Christmas birthday, a Thanksgiving birthday, a New Year’s birthday—you know what I’m talking about. There’s always someone who will remind you that today is “also” something else. Something many people consider bigger, more important. Well, not to the birthday girl, I assure you.

A birthday is the one day that is yours. That’s worth celebrating in its own right.

I’ve never been the person who dreads birthdays or lies about her age. I’ve never whispered “29 again” with a wink. My age is something I’ve earned, and I wear it proudly. I’m 65, and I’m happy to say that out loud to anyone who’ll listen.

But this birthday does feel different. It isn’t because 65 suddenly changes who I am.

I’ll wake up on my birthday with the same curiosity, the same goals, and the same stubborn streak I had at 64. It feels different because of the number attached to it, the door it opens, and, in some ways, the chapter it closes.

Certain birthdays invite reflection. They make us pause long enough to ask a question that we usually avoid: What have I done with the time I’ve been given?

So is 65 a milestone birthday? I think it depends on what we mean by "milestone."

We have an unofficial cultural script for this. Thirteen—you’re a teenager. Sixteen—you can drive. Eighteen—you’re an adult (sort of). Twenty-one—now you can legally toast to it. Then the decades kick in: 30, 40, 50... each one arriving with a little more cultural drama and existential hand-wringing.

After 50, the script gets quieter. Like maybe we’re supposed to stop counting so loudly. I reject that entirely.

What 65 Actually Looks Like (For Me)

Six months ago I retired from nearly 40 years of practicing law. Not because I was tired of working—but because I was ready to work differently. At 62 I became a board-certified health coach, and I started writing on Substack. I became a writer, an educator, and a coach.

I didn’t retire from life. I relaunched it.

At 65, I now have Medicare. That’s no small thing. Health insurance was the very thing that kept me tethered to practicing law longer than I had planned. That little red, white, and blue card represents something much bigger than healthcare. It represents the freedom to work because I want to, not because I have to; the freedom to build something new; and the freedom to step fully into this next chapter with a safety net beneath it.

For me, 65 looks like purpose. It looks like mornings I’m excited about, a body I’ve worked hard to take care of, and a mind that’s still hungry to learn. It looks like writing articles that matter to me, creating programs that help people live better, taking walks and hiking in the woods, lifting weights, and planning what’s next instead of looking backward.

And yes, it looks like joy. Not because life has always been easy. It hasn’t.

Like everyone who reaches this age, I’ve experienced grief, loss, disappointment, and a few health scares along the way. But I’ve also discovered something surprising: getting older has brought me a deeper appreciation for life—not a diminished one.

That’s more than a personal observation. The research suggests it may actually be one of the healthiest attitudes we can have.

The Surprising Science of Our Attitudes Toward Aging

How we think about aging matters more than many of us realize. Loving our birthdays may actually be good for our health.

A Harvard study of 14,000 adults over age 50 found that people who felt most satisfied with aging had a 43% lower risk of dying from any cause over the next four years than those least satisfied with aging. They also tended to have lower rates of diabetes, stroke, cancer, and heart disease, along with better cognitive function, more physical activity, less loneliness, and a stronger sense of purpose. The takeaway is simple but powerful: how we think about aging may be linked to how well we age.

Let that sink in. How you feel about getting older may be one of the most powerful health interventions available to you.

A landmark study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people with more positive self-perceptions of aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those who internalized negative stereotypes about getting older. The message is encouraging: the way we speak about aging, think about aging, and live into aging may shape not only our years, but the quality and vitality of those years.

A large 2019 study found that people with a more optimistic outlook lived 11% to 15% longer on average and were more likely to achieve what researchers called "exceptional longevity"—living to age 85 or beyond.

This isn’t just feel-good advice. Researchers note that if people believe poor health is inevitable with age, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, keeping them from the very behaviors that would help them age well. But the good news, they say, is that the views we hold about aging are changeable. We can shift our mindset.

Every Year Is a Milestone

Why do I love birthdays so much?

Not because of cake or presents, although I’m certainly not opposed to either. Maybe the best reason is that it’s my own special day—the day I was born and have celebrated every June 21st since.

Because celebration isn’t frivolous. And it’s not something we earn only after we’ve accomplished enough or reached a “milestone” year.

Celebration is how we mark that we’re still here. That we made it through another year—both the hard parts and the joyful parts—and that the fact of our continued existence is, itself, worth recognizing.

We’re not celebrating because life has been perfect. We celebrate because we showed up even when it wasn’t.

That’s true on birthdays. But it’s also true on a Tuesday when you finish something difficult. And it’s true when you look back and realize how far you’ve come.

Celebration isn’t about deserving it. It’s about choosing to notice.

So yes, I want my whole day (I’ve been known to stretch it into a week or even a month). And I want to celebrate it.

This birthday happens to come with a number that our culture considers significant. But the more I think about it, the less interested I am in whether 65 is a milestone birthday. I’m more interested in whether I’ve been paying attention to the life that got me here.

Turning 65 isn’t some grand cosmic achievement, but celebrating it on purpose is part of how I stay present to my own life.

Happy birthday to me!

And now, because every birthday deserves a soundtrack...

P.S. One of the gifts of getting older is realizing that seasons matter too—not just years.

The things that matter most rarely happen by accident.

If you want this summer to reflect what matters most to you instead of whatever happens to fill the space, I’d love to have you join me for Ignite Your Summer on June 25.